This is home.

I am jealous. I wanted to go home this weekend, but it's supposed to keep snowing. Bah.

Breakfast

Every week I go out to breakfast with a lovely group of young ladies. They are sweet, fashionable, and love Jesus. I LOVE the time I get to spend just sipping coffee, catching up on life, and enjoying the Broken Egg’s early bird discount. However, there is one thing that separates me from the others. That is a significant other. Two girls are in serious relationships, most likely leading to marriage, and the other, who is the same age as me, has been married for over a year now.

It’s strange how someone the exact same age as me can be in a completely different phase of life. I’m an RA, I make movies, take classes on-campus, and goof off if I have the time.

One girl is married, lives in a house, has a husband (obviously), works, takes online classes, and has two dogs. I would not mind being able to relate a little more. It would be fun to talk about visiting my “man’s” family for Christmas, discuss date plans, and share hilarious stories about my time with him.

This isn’t meant to be a “Christen is sad because she isn’t dating” post, because I’m not sad. Right now my life is film sets, RA stuff, and school; this is what I need to focus on right now.

I wouldn’t mind being able to relate a little more with my friends, but that doesn’t change the fact that my weekly breakfast time is a blessing. And okay, I’ll admit, I secretly really want a box of chocolates (they’re tempting me in the stores), with just the coconut kind (no, not Almond Joys, Stephen), and maybe a teddy bear because I can’t have a kitty in my apartment. But if some boy could manage to get me a real kitty, I suppose I could make arrangements to keep it…

Major update

When I say major, I mean an update on my academic major.

I have been thinking a lot about what to do with this “Cinema-Television” major. Regent really focuses on the “cinema” portion of the title, but teaches only a class and half on the “television” part. But in thinking about film and thinking about television, the latter always tends to spark excitement inside of me. I love film. I love studying film. I love watching films. I love the hard work and exhilaration of being on set and shooting a film. However, I really am beginning to feel that the film world is just not my place. The idea of working in news is thrilling. I love the fast paced motion of a live broadcast. You have to make quick decisions, jump on instinct. The director doesn’t have seven takes to get the shot, you’ve got one, you take it, and while the camera is on that talent, you’re setting up two other shots within ten seconds.

I’m remembering high school when TV was it for me. We did gameshows, live broadcasts, news packages, talk shows. I was good at this! I feel like I struggle with the creative end of film, which is kind of odd because I think I am a highly creative individual, but not in a film sense of storytelling. I love features, shooting talent as they tell THEIR story. I have a hard time writing narrative scripts and dialogue. I’m good at voiceovers, the inverted pyramid, piecing together b roll and interviews, and listing the who, what, when, where and why stuff in a one sentence lead.

Another note, I think that the main reason it’s taken me so long to finally say, “I’m going to TV and you can’t stop me” is because of people. And that’s not a bad thing! I love working with my friends, yes, namedrop, Jordan, Josh, Keith, Jenny, Derrick, Dan, and a lot of others. I wanted to be on their projects because I like being around them. If I mention, “I don’t want to go into film” I get the “What? But you’re good at it!” line which always made me change my mind. I think it’s time for me to be okay with the fact that film may not be entirely my thing.

So this all goes to say a few things..

First, I do not plan to “drop” film while at Regent. I am ADing a few films, producing one, and getting some directing experience. And I’m excited about all of these projects! I am not dreading the film work I will do.

Second, I think that I need to make the move and transfer my energies to television and journalism. Next fall I plan to take the new TV courses Regent will be offering. I will probably complete my internship in the broadcast field. I plan to do my senior project as a documentary or news magazine show. I would like to meet with Pam about kicking the television aspect of the major up a notch and see how we can start some sort of extracurricular news program within the university.

Third, God knows what my future will be like. He’s got me covered. My major is honestly something I haven’t really prayed about until recently. No matter what happens, whether I decide on television, film, or basket weaving, I guess I just need to make sure that HE will be glorified in it. “He must become greater, I must become less.” God, be greater, show me Your way for my life, and if it’s through journalism and television, I might just be really happy :].

Radiance.

”²⁹ When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD. ³⁰ When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him. ³¹ But Moses called to them; so Aaron and all the leaders of the community came back to him, and he spoke to them. ³² Afterward all the Israelites came near him, and he gave them all the commands the LORD had given him on Mount Sinai.”
-Exodus 34:29-32

- - - -

You knew when Moses met with the Lord. His radiant face gave it away. The Israelites trusted Moses and the commands from the Lord because they knew that God had spoken to His messenger. It makes me wonder. Am I radiant? Can people tell when I speak with the Lord? Do people set me apart because they know that I am a daughter of the Most High, because they can just tell?

Lord, I want to be recognized as Your child. When I meet with you I want my face to GLOW, and reveal who YOU are. May others come to You and seek You with the knowledge that they too will be set aside as servants of the Lord Almighty.

- - - -

“Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” -Psalm 34:5